i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I have feelings that need drinking.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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