i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
home. puking in laundry basket.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
