He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
