some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
