Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
