The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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