my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
