I wanna bring you to show and tell
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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