I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
