she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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