Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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