I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We talked him into tasing himself.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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