you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
