Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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