i permit you to call me
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
