I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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