I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
