i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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