We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
