Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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