He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have demons in me.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
