Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
