3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
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