YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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