It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize