Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
