you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
