You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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