He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
