They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Randomize