i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
