just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
