I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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