What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
