Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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