the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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