so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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