Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The adults are the big ones right?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
