We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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