come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
