6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
