i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
