your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
