this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
