I looked at my own cervix.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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