it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Two words: blizzard sex
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
