My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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