Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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