i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
