There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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