im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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