Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
