marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
