He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
