Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
