am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
