physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
