i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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