smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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